My birthday in iphone pictures

I’ve seen other blogs document fun days through just pictures and I thought some day Ellie and Cullen will enjoy seeing how we spent some fun days together.

So this is how we spent my 34th birthday together (I forgot to take some pictures…I’ll have to try harder next time!!)

Cullen and I woke up early and waited for big sister to get up!!  Then it was the usual family snuggle in mommy’s chair!

Then we were off to the mall to enjoy the day!

Cullen fell asleep, so Ellie got to ride the carousel alone.

Next up: A very stylish lunch at none other than Chick-fil-a…a family favorite!

After this we were off to get mommy a gift.  Ellie snapped a pic of me trying on my new Ray ban’s…

After a little birthday shopping it was off to get Cullen another haircut!  That boy needs to be seen every 4 weeks or he grows a thick wig!!!

Finally, we made a trip through HEB to get a birthday dinner of fish and shrimp to grill and steak and garlic noodles for Ellie (since she made this request for HER dinner on MY birthday!)

This is my crew before we made our way outside…

…and this is how we enjoyed the rest of our day together!

Thank you Brandon, Ellie and Cullen for making my day so wonderful!

I love you all!

Emotional

It’s been such an emotional month for me…I’ve been missing our little Bennett so much.

Maybe it’s because I feel organized and caught up with life which gives me more time to think about him.

Maybe it’s because I turned one year older and it means another year without him in my life.

Maybe it’s because it is time for the March of Dimes and Bennett is the reason we commit to supporting this organization year after year.

Maybe it’s because we are closer to his Heaven Day on June 15th and it will mark 5 whole years without him.

Hard to believe it has been that long…

 

On top of the emotions of missing our little man I’m also at a place right now that I am feeling so grateful and blessed.

I’ve got a husband that left a career he loved to build a better life for us.

I have two miracle babies that are my daily reminders that He does hear our prayers and He answers them in His own perfect time.

I get to wake up in the morning and take my time drinking coffee rather than scurrying around trying to get myself ready for work and dropping my kiddos off at a daycare. 

We’ve build a beautiful house that we adore and it is such a perfect home for our family. 

 

Sometimes I sit and just look around.  Amazed at what He has given me in this life. 

 

It has been a journey the past 8 years.  Not always a joyful one either.  There have been many tears and prayers.  However, now at 34 years old I feel like I know what it was all for.  It is THIS feeling that I’ve been searching for.  This contentment that I know now.  No longer lost and searching.

I started my 34th year of life at peace…the most wonderful gift I could have ever dreamed of!

 

Blessings,

Angie

I needed this today…

This article came to me on a day (or maybe month) that I needed it the most.

I couldn’t have said any of this any better.  This, my friends is exactly what we have been living for the last 5 years.  It’s a nightmare to be honest.  People look at Ellie and don’t see a twin or the other invisible struggles we face daily as a consequence of prematurity (and CF on top of that).  We have been cut off by friends or cut ourselves off from friends AND family because of this very topic.  It’s sad…but, it is also very real.  While all parents of premature babies have different invisible struggles…we ALL have struggles. 

That is why raising money for the March of Dimes has been so near and dear to our hearts for the past 5 years.

Most of you know that our family has been heavily involved with the March of Dimes since 2006.  We have been blessed to share our story with hundreds (if not thousands) of individuals and we have been so fortunate with dedicated team members that have worked so hard to raise thousands of dollars for such a worthy organization. 

 

This year, however, I have fallen short on my commitment. 

I have let our busy life get in the way.  School, activities, daily duties have all interfered with what I have been able to do so successfully (and passionately) in the past. 

I feel guilty, but at the same time I know I am only one person that can only do so much.

So, I am starting now and pledging myself as dedicated to doing all that I can for the next few weeks (39 days to be exact) to help raise money for Team Chunky Monkey.  This is our annual way to spotlight our little miracles and the fight they were able to put forth due, in part, to life saving treatments made possible by research done with funds from the March of Dimes.  This is always a tender part of the year because so much attention is focused on our little angel, Bennett, and the honorable fight he put forth before being called Home in June 2007. 

I have added a March of Dimes badge to the right side of our blog.  Simply click and it will direct you to our personal team page.  Join our team or donate directly to TCM. 

We will be walking in the Montgomery County walk this year.  It is on Saturday, April 28th at Woodlands Church fellowship campus.  Registration starts at 8am and the walk begins at 9am. 

We are thankful for your support year after year!  Now, let’s do this for THEM:

 

Blessings,

Angie

A birthday letter to my princess on her 5th birthday

(this was supposed to post…oh, FIVE months ago, but better late than never!)

 

Dear Ellie Grace,

WOW!!  My little 2 pound princess is FIVE years old…I absolutely can not believe it!

 

Ellie, you are every single thing that is beautiful and wonderful about life! 

You are the answer to my prayers.

You are true beauty.

You are smart, funny and so compassionate.

You are absolute perfection to me.

 

I love waking up next to you every morning. 

I love that you ask me to look at your big muscles and your “big” legs every single day.  You tell me they look like they are five now!

I love that you help me cook dinner almost every night.  You love to get your stool and use a butter knife to cut veggies for me!

I love that you have so much patience with Cullen!  He NEVER leaves you alone or lets you play alone and you roll with it every single time!  You are a wonderful big sister.

I love that you cheer Cullen on when he uses the potty.  You care so much about every single person in our family.  Your level of compassion for people and animals and life should be inspiring to others.

I think that it is adorable that you care so much about what you look like before you leave the house!  You told daddy not long ago that you wouldn’t wear a certain outfit because it just didn’t match!  Hilarious…but, I can say you definitely get that from me!

You are boarder line OCD about brushing your teeth!  You ask us ALL.THE.TIME if what you are eating has sugar and if it does you simply won’t touch it!  If you do eat it we have to be at home and you run to brush your teeth immediately.  I hate to admit this, but I lie to you sometimes just so you can enjoy a sugar treat every now and then! 

We decided to clean out some of your old toys and give them to kiddos that were in need and you came downstairs with an entire bag full of baby dolls.  You refused to get rid of one stuffed animal, but you could care less about the baby dolls!  Dr. Doolittle in the future maybe??

You are in the 75% percentile for height and weight!  42 inches tall and 43 pounds!

Your favorite color changes daily, but your favorite food is pizza and macaroni and cheese

At 5 years old you told mommy you wanted to be a “chef girl” when you grow up! 

You love family movie night and sharing popcorn!

You still say: kangarooF, nacteria (bacteria), perpume and a few other words that make us laugh!  I don’t have the heart to correct you b/c I think it is so cute!

You LOVE homeschool!  When people ask you if you are in kindergarten you say “YES and I go to homeschool”

You played soccer on a co-ed team this season and HATED it!  You told daddy that you would only play on a girl team from now on! 

I am so madly in love with you…my little miracle girl!  You bring me joy on a daily basis and I am forever grateful to God for blessing us with you.  The last five years have been filled with so much joy because of you. 

I love you with all of my heart forever and ever!

Love, Mommy

January/February:

 

March:

April:

May:

June:

July:

August:

September:

October:

November:

December:

Happy 5th birthday to our little miracles

I honestly can not believe this day is here already. 

FIVE years ago (yesterday) I gave birth to two of the most amazing miracles ever created. 

I did not prepare myself well enough for this day to come…or maybe, the truth is, no mom really can.  Five is a huge milestone and to me it’s been one that arrived too soon!

December 14th is always a struggle for me.  I am so thrilled to see Ellie grow and each year her excitement for her birthday grows.  But, on the inside I grieve for Bennett.  I always wonder more on this day than any other…what would he look like, would he be as rambunctious as Cullen or as sweet and calm as he was as a baby.  What would his favorite color be and what food would he request on his special day. 

I know all of those things about Ellie.  I knew what color outfit she would love.  I knew where she would want to go for dinner.  I knew the smile that would creep up on her face when she saw the birthday donuts that Freddy the Elf brought her. 

Half of my heart is full on this day and the other half is full of wonder. 

As soon as my feet touched the ground we were busy.  Busy prepping the birthday girls breakfast and wrapping a gift (nothing like last minute).  Tears found their way to my eyes for the brief minute that I sat alone in the kitchen.  Only one plate…when there should be two.  Only one chocolate milk and one chair for one birthday girl…when there should be two.  I doubt this day will ever be an easy one for us.

After a morning of celebrating for our little girl that is so full of life we were off to celebrate the little boy that lived such a short life. 

Balloons, flowers and a grave site are what came next.  Every parents nightmare. 

Now that we moved clear across the city we are over an hour away from the cemetery.  I HATE this about where we live.  I have actually asked Brandon to look into having Bennett moved closer to us because I have always (and I fear always will) feel close to him when we are at the cemetery.  I know people always say, “that’s just his body…his spirit is in Heaven” and I totally get that!  But, I know that when I am at the cemetery I am only a few feet away from the little boy’s body I carried for seven months, held as often as I could in my arms for six months and that I love more than life itself. 

Daddy did a great job with the flowers and my heart felt a little better when we raced out of there on our way to Texas Children’s for the kiddos CF clinic.

CF clinic is not exactly what Ellie had in mind when she pictured her perfect birthday.  And the throat swab to get a sputum sample was definitely NOT what she signed up for!  She hates that part of clinic and I am so proud that we didn’t have to call in reinforcements to hold her down in order to collect the sample.  A little bribery worked like a charm!  Clinic was pretty normal minus the alarming news that Cullen cultured pseudomonas AGAIN. 

A number of short, un-lady like words flew through my brain when we got that news. 

I love TOBI for the wonderful drug that it is, but I D.R.E.A.D administering it to Cullen twice a day for the next 28 days.  I fear we will be making TOBI a regular part of our neb treatment for poor Cullen which is a total bummer. 

We were done with clinic at 4 and off to eat an early dinner with Mimi.  The birthday girl chose mexican food, so Pappasito’s was the destination!  It was the best ending to a milestone day in our baby girls world. 

Blessings,

Angie

Thankful…

WOW. Where does the time go?  This post has been a long time coming and it feels like the right time to start blogging again so my kiddos actually have proof of their childhood!

With Thanksgiving 2011 quickly approaching, I feel like I will start with all (or at least some of) the things I am thankful for right now.

I am thankful for my (almost) 5 year old princess and my 1 1/2 year old terror!  I am so blessed to be the mommy to such amazing kiddos.

I am super thankful for our new home!  I LOVE everything about this house, neighborhood, and surrounding area.  It really was a huge blessing to our family to take such a risk!

I am thankful that we live so close to my parents now!  I love spending time with my mom and now I only have to drive 15 minutes to do it!

I am thankful that we have turned this house into a home.  I have worked countless hours to get this house decorated and “homey” feeling and I think we are almost there!

I am thankful that Ellie is spelling and reading!!!  Now, she isn’t going to whip out her own blog post or read a chapter in Little Women, but she can spell most simple vowel pattern words you give her and she can read them as well!  So proud of her and how hard she works every day we are in school!!!

On that note, I am thankful to be a mommy that has had so much success this first “real” year at homeschooling!  I truly love it because it is all my favorite parts of being a teacher without all of the junk!

I am thankful that Cullen is already potty training.  I’m not sure it’s entirely normal for a 17 month old to WANT to use the potty, but he does and he actually goes, so we are going to roll with it!

I’m thankful for cold days even though they are few and far between.  Hey, mother nature: I would love to wear my UGGS on a daily basis!

I am thankful for weight watchers.  I have lost 23 pounds in the last 9 weeks and I really feel so much better about myself.  I am not one of those people that has self control when it comes to food, so WW is the perfect program for me because it holds me accountable each week for the food I eat on a daily basis.

I am thankful that Blakely drives home from college to watch our kiddos when we want to go out!  I don’t think I am ready to trust a total stranger with my kids and it is such a blessing that Blake loves them enough to come back when we need her to.

I am thankful that the holidays are here!  I love this time of year and I am ready to get our home turned into a whimsical winter wonderland!

I am thankful for my hubby!!!  He works so very hard for our family and we are so grateful for that!  

I am thankful for free time which is few and far between!  Today the boys are running errands together and I blessed myself with the time to write this blog!  Hopefully, this is the beginning of something good and I will continue to have a few minutes each week to record our family’s memories!

Blessings,

Angie

SOLD and homeless

Why has it been almost two months since my last post???

We sold our house...
Had 13 days to move out...
We found a new house with 4 days to spare...
Moved into a sweet friends house for 10 days while they were on vacation...
Left there and moved into my parents house...which is where we can be found today!
We finally closed on our old home yesterday...

And we are now homeless and waiting to close on our new one!

We aren't truly without a roof over our heads though. My parents were generous enough to offer us a place to stay while we are waiting. Its like a vacation for the kiddos. Yummy food and snacks all the time with a pool in the backyard! The adults are totally ready to get back to normal though.

A ton has happened in the meantime...including another CF clinic visit. More on that later.

In the meantime we are praying our extended vaca ends very soon with our little family in our new home.

Blessings,
Angie