Be Still...

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
Psalm 37:7

Being faithful has never been a downfall of mine. I have held onto my faith through my mom’s battle with cancer, through college and the decisions I made for my future, through my relationship with Brandon, through our battle with infertility, through my hospitalization and bed rest, and through the loss of our precious baby boy.

Being still…being patient, during those times was and continues to be my mountain to climb.

(Im)Patiently waiting to get Brandon’s blood results even though Labcorp lost his blood

(Im)Patiently waiting to go through our next round of IVF

(Im)Patiently waiting for the results of my CT scan

(Im)Patiently waiting to get my daughter potty trained

(Im)Patiently waiting to get Bennett’s headstone

(Im)Patiently waiting to decide whether or not to sell our house

The thing is, I realized that even though I am steadfast in my faith, I am constantly “going” and “working” to have an end result for each of these challenges as quickly as possible. I am reminded of one of my favorite songs by StorySide:B

When I feel like caving in
My heart my soul is wearing thin
I just want to give up
Nothing seems at all to add up
Can you hear me Lord?
My face is down upon the floor
It’s then you whisper in my ear
“Be still and know I'm here”


Be still…God is weaving together all of the “tiny” miracles that will create that perfect moment we have been praying for. It’s not a surprise and it’s not sudden; it is through prayer, patience and faith.

Such great advice…right? I am working on it. I know Brandon will be given the “all clear” from his CF screen, I know we will do IVF again and I am hopeful (only b/c I don’t want to jinx myself) that we will have more babies. I have worked on the prayer part of my journey and I can feel my faith growing stronger every day, now I need to work on my patience.

So, a week off from blogging and that is what I have come up with. I need to be more patient! (Among other things!)

Onto the weeks highlights!

It was another week that just flew by. Ellie and I have a new man in our lives that has kept us busy all week. His name is BOB and we have spent every day with him for the last week! BOB is our new jogging stroller. Mommy decided that she was going to start working out (after the 5 mile MOD walk inspired me), so the Chico travel system wasn’t going to cut the cheese anymore! I spent HOURS (literally) researching jogging strollers and I even consulted my very detail oriented friend C that has an awesome stroller. I am in love with BOB!! I haven’t missed one single day of wogging (½ walking ½ jogging) in two weeks…even when I felt under the weather. We wog 2-3 miles every day and I love it! In my two and a half years of mommyhood I would only strongly suggest a few baby items. The BOB is right on top of my list! I will not be getting a travel system for our next baby; I will simply get another jogger with the infant attachment. Ellie has enough room to stretch out and relax in the BOB and it holds up to 70 pounds!!!

Weekends are always a slight nightmare for us. We usually have a party or an event and to be honest by the time Saturday comes Brandon is totally exhausted from his busy week. This weekend was no different. We woke up and went out to breakfast for the first time as a family! Usually B will do breakfast in bed on the weekends for his ladies, but we went to Denny’s instead…yummy!!! I was also surprised with a spa day! So, after we came home and Ellie and I wogged while B did some work. We got ready, dropped a gift off at a birthday party for our friend Kylie and we were off. It was a great day! B waited for me and then we had a family dinner in Town Center and then walked around to the candy store and Dessert Gallery. I was totally exhausted from our day ~ and so was Ellie! We were back home and in bed by 9:30!!!

I had a fantastic Mother’s Day ~ although as I have said before, I really feel like every day is Mother’s Day. I am blessed to be able to stay at home with Ellie and that is the best gift I could ever have been given. However, B still went out of his way to make sure we had a fabulous day. Church, visiting our little guy, lunch, wogging (yes, even after mimosas at brunch) and a relaxing evening watching tv.

This was one of the best weekends we have had in such a long time! Time spent together as a family; out on the town doing things together…you can’t beat that!

All good things must come to an end…and they did this morning with a trip to the hospital. I was dreading my IV, but you will be so impressed to know that I was such a big girl! No screaming, crying, or holding this 31 year old down! Nope…I didn’t even flinch! Actually, I thought the nurse was just going to draw blood (which is still hellpainful for me), however she was really inserting my IV. You should have seen my face when I figured out she had done the IV. There was an older woman sitting in the same area and she was just giggling at me b/c I was so shocked. Brandon looked at me and said, “Wow, you did such a great job!” I told him, “I know, and this means I get to pick where we get food when I am done!” FYI: I decided on Ruggles b/c I wanted tomato basil soup and a yummy salad…it didn’t work out for me.

I did a great job with the CT…it was a breeze. However, I got an F in the following directions portion b/c I neglected to take my bra off. Minor issue! We were in and out in ONE HOUR!!! Nothing yummy was open at 9:00am, so I had to settle for McDonald’s. I am still crossing my fingers that B will bring Ruggles home for dinner…we’ll see!

So, now we wait PATIENTLY for the results. I am praying that we get some news by the end of the week. Now I’m off to finish laundry and start packing for our trip to Scottsdale, Arizona. We are leaving on Saturday and I can’t wait!

Blessings,
Angie