Well, the lack of updates is due to the fact our laptop has been living in the hospital bag with nightly threats of being admitted to the hospital were upon us…AND we have been spending these last few days enjoying our family of three. I have REALLY enjoyed the last week alone with Ellie and the long weekend with B. It has been like old times. We wake up, cuddle, eat a yummy homemade breakfast together and play outside (and even run a few errands together)! As the days pass I am more and more uncomfortable and exhausted from contractions, but overall I feel like it has been a blessing to have these last few days alone with Ellie and B to feel like our “normal” family.
Funny story from last week: I don’t usually turn the TV on during the day, but for some reason I decided to watch The baby story one day last week while I ate.
I am not sure if it was hormones or relief that I am actually days away from delivery, but I was bawling hysterically!! Oh my goodness!!! I could just picture our family standing outside of the general nursery taking pictures and watching them clean our long awaited miracle boy…and I laughed b/c I am sure he will be the biggest baby in the nursery! I am most anxious to see B’s face when he sees Cullen for the first time. I am going to “call Brandon out” by making it public knowledge that he is a sensitive guy…and that is one of the best qualities he has! I love that he cried the entire time I walked down the aisle at our wedding and when they told him it was time to deliver the twins. I am not expecting tears, but I do know that he will be overcome with emotion when he meets this little man I have been getting to know for the last 36 weeks. I can’t wait for him to finally get to experience the footprints on the scrubs and hearing the first cry. I am so ready for our little boy to be here. We had to plan months in advance to take a shot in the dark with IVF and genetic testing to get this perfect embryo that is now Cullen and we will finally get to meet him in person in three days (i’m not counting Friday b/c he will be here)! We are so blessed.
As I am sure most women do at 9 months pregnant…I feel enormous these days! Cullen is huge and I have extra fluid because of his size. I also feel as if I am carrying a lot lower than I have been. I have been fighting an uphill battle with contractions, pressure and cramping since Friday evening. On Saturday night, I was instructed (by home health) to call the emergency line for my OB b/c my contractions were so bad. The doctor on call told me to take another demand dose of terb, take tyl.enol PM and said that if contractions got closer together to call her back. I was sure we were headed to the hospital b/c I literally couldn’t deal with the pain. Instead, I fell asleep only to wake up at 4am with more contractions and pressure.
I have SUFFERED through this weekend waiting until my doctor is back tomorrow to be seen for a cervical check. I am feeling sure there has been some change and that may be enough to be sent to the hospital to deliver a baby. For a better part of the weekend contractions have been 8 minutes apart or less. I still worry about whether Cullen is ready to thrive outside of my body…at 36.3 weeks I am hoping he is!
So, the house is ready…and we are ready.
Ready for a normal day as a family of four.
Ready to have our lives back.
Ready to “hole up” in our house and enjoy each other.
Ready for homemade meals.
Ready for midnight feedings and dirty diapers.
Ready to see our baby girl with her baby brother.
This is the day we have waited years for and it will be here any day.
We are ready!
Your ways, O God, are holy.
What god is so great as our God?