I simply can’t believe…

that we have three children. 

that we have three children and two of them were born (in 4 hours) exactly 4 years ago.

that I can recall every single thing that happened from this entire day 4 years ago.

that the first best day of my life happened four years ago and the result is this most perfect miracle girl and her angel brother.

   

At 1:44 and 1:46am on December 14, 2006 my life forever changed for the better.  We didn’t have a clue of the nightmare that was lying ahead, but truthfully it still couldn’t steal the moment of gloriousness that was the birth of our first two babies. No matter how small, sick and fragile they were…the were still ours!

Six months later we sent Bennett back home to his creator.  He was no longer ours to raise, but he will forever be a part of our family in our hearts. 

Their first birthday was hard because it was the first one that Bennett was gone for.  The second and third were hard, but NOTHING has been as difficult as this fourth birthday.

Ellie has grown so much this year that it just blows my mind.  She is no longer a baby.  It leaves me wondering what kind of boy Bennett would have been.  These big changes are the times that I find my heart aches the most. 

Is it even possible to have your heart hurt so much, but be so completely full at the same time?  I can’t stop kissing and hugging my precious miracle girl.  I know how differently our ending could have been after she was born three months early.  We are blessed.  Simply blessed to have such a perfect little person that we have been gifted to raise up to Him. 

Still, knowing that, I find myself choking back tears today.  Holding Cullen a little tighter.  Giving a few more sugar snacks to Ellie than I would typically allow.  Having the patience level I wish I had every day.  I guess I am just a little more grateful. 

Dear Ellie and Bennett,

Happy birthday to our first two miracles.  You are loved and thought of every single hour of my day. 

Ellie you are perfection in my eyes.  I love every single teeny tiny thing about you.  I love coloring with you, playing magnetic dress up with your princess dolls, snuggling you in bed and every little thing in between.  Happy birthday my miracle girl.

Sweet Bennett.  I miss you every single minute of the day…especially today.  You are the most precious little angel up in Heaven I am sure.  Sister sends you balloons every time we leave the grocery store.  She says the bright ones can be seen faster because they are so much brighter.  So, today she sent you a red one.  No matter where you are today we are celebrating your life.  We miss you more than any words would be capable of expressing.  Happy birthday to our sweet little chunky monkey…we miss you so much and we love you with all of our hearts

 

Happy 4th birthday Bennett David and Ellie Grace ~ We love you both forEVER!!!

I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

Jeremiah 31:13

Blessings,

Angie