Today was…fun, but totally exhausting!
You would be surprised how tiring it is to shower, dress, pack up a toddler, ride in the car, walk, and wait in the doctors office. I’m not lazy, but I sure have lost a lot of endurance during the last 10 weeks by being on bed rest.
After waiting for what seemed like an eternity and after I slammed a Kashi bar and two bottles of water I FINALLY got called back.
The first thing my doctor said as she walked in the door holding my medical chart was, “This thing is ridiculous…War and Peace is nothing compared to your chart”. NICE! I told her I would LOVE to not be associated with that chart and all of the issues that come with it!
I knew the scale was coming and I was ready to take her head on…and she won! I gained 6 pounds in the last four weeks. That puts my total weight gain at 8 pounds in 18 weeks. Whatever! I’m not worried as long as this boy is BIG and HEALTHY!
Which brings me to the whole size thing. I am measuring 19 1/2 weeks pregnant and I’m only supposed to be 18 weeks 1 day…so, ladies and gents we have a Brandon sized baby in this belly. I’m blaming B for the six pounds due to his gigantic DNA he brought to the table!
The appointment was a little less rushed than the last and I really had a chance to ask a lot of questions. We discussed the possible cause of my Pprom with the twins and she truly believes that the reason I ruptured so early was because I was carrying twins and also because of my short cervix. Yes, we placed the cerclage and Yes, we hope it will prevent any early dilation. But, the truth is women that deliver prematurely are 20% more likely to deliver as early or earlier than their previous pregnancy. While we are talking about my cervix…I asked what it was measuring by ultrasound and it is at 3.3. I don’t like that number because it is on the low end of acceptable. However, I guess I am grateful that it isn’t below a 3 b/c then I would be in trouble. I plan on asking the peri to order cervix scans every two weeks, so we can keep a super close eye on it.
She wasn’t worried about the uterine irritability b/c it isn’t regular. I am to watch for any pressure in my bottom which is a clear indicator that my cervix is dilating. I had a nerve severed during a laparoscopic surgery that prevents me from really feeling contractions, so I have to pay very close attention to all other signs that may present themselves. I am to stay horizontal as often as humanly possible to keep pressure off of the cervix. My blood pressure was a little elevated 130/80 and that makes me a little nervous, but she wasn’t worried and she said that most women see an increase in blood pressure around the half way point.
Cullen’s heart rate was 157 beats/minute and he was moving all over the place. It was probably b/c I wore jeans to the appointment and he was being squished to death! I never wear anything but comfy pull on lounge pants. I felt bad for him and as soon as we got home I ripped the jeans off!
I hate these appointments because I usually feel more stressed after I leave them. I ask questions that I really want answers to, but then I get the answers and I feel like I should just adopt the motto: Ignorance is bliss!
So, I am back to scared. I am invested in this little boy. He is a part of our family. He is a part of my heart. I am scared to death of letting all of us down by not making it to a healthy stage of this pregnancy.
I really feel like I need the prayers now more than ever for some reason. I feel a little shaken by the reality of the facts I got today. Maybe after some prayers of my own and a good nights sleep (and a few days just laying in bed) I will feel a little better. There is just so much that really needs to go right…and there is only one person that knows if it will…and it is so very hard to give it all up to Him and wait.
I’m looking forward to Thursday b/c it means the 1/2 way point to my next milestone which is Monday and 19 weeks. That also means only 7 more days until the contraction monitor, turb pump and ultrasound. Prayers, prayers and more prayers until then.
Blessings,
Angie
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