20 week Cullen check

Today was such a great day!  I really LOVE the days that we visit the peri because we get very thorough ultrasounds, he answers all two million questions I ask him, and he always lets me “have my way” when I have a special request about certain treatments. 

I’ll start with the ultrasound news.  We knew we had a big’n in there…but, he is getting really big!  As Dr. K was measuring his head I asked in joking voice, “So, exactly how big is that head,” and he said, “Very BIG!”  For a second I got paranoid and thought that maybe something might be wrong, but he turned and looked at B and said, “But, look at his dad…he’s a big guy!”  I had to giggle because he really meant that B has a big head…and he does!  However, so does my sweet little Ellie and so did Bennett, so that big head in just in the DNA.

We got a perfect picture of Cullen’s hand with all 5 fingers and I swear you can almost see the finger prints because the u/s is so clear.  Our big guy has super long legs and arms and everything (heart, kidneys, brain) looks just perfect!  No echogenic bowel was detected (that would/could be present if Cullen has CF).  Just because they didn’t see echogenic bowel doesn’t mean he doesn’t have CF…we will only know that after he is born.  He is measuring at least 10 inches long and is almost ONE POUND!  That is way above average for a 20 weeker, but like I’ve said all along…I would love to have one big, fat, healthy baby!  We always get the 4-D ultrasounds done and he seems to have the exact same bone structure as Ellie…I can’t wait to see who he looks like when he is born!

Now, for the news on my crazy body!  I still have placenta previa.  I hate the way the Dr. delivers that news because it is really the only time he seems overly concerned about my situation.  We REALLY need this placenta to move, so we can decrease the chance for blood loss as Cullen grows larger.  My cervix looked really good today and measured a whopping 4 cm!  Last visit it measured at 3.3 cm.  I am not as educated about the cervix as I am on other issues, so I don’t know if it usually changes it’s length like that or not.  To be on the safe side I am going to take the avg of my last two cervical measurements.  So, I am calling my cervix a 3.7 which isn’t bad! 

I have my orders for the turb pump and the uterine monitor and the home health people should be here tomorrow (fingers crossed!) and they will teach me how to do everything.  I’m not going to lie…it is freaking me out to have the small little catheter type device in my leg.  It freaks me out even more that B will have to change my site every 3-5 days.  I should be used to needles at this point and it is all for the next biggest blessing in our lives, so I KNOW I can do it!  Side note: The home health people called while I was writing this post and she used the word “overwhelming” as she referred to my medical history.  She was super sweet and didn’t mean it in a rude way, but it was funny to me.  That is the same reaction I get every.single.time I give my history to a new doctor!!!  Can they even imagine how “overwhelmed” I am by my own medical issues!!!

So, my next visit is to the OB in two weeks and then I will see both doctors every two weeks from there until delivery.  Dr. K did mention that **IF I go full term he wouldn’t mind letting me go until 38 weeks.  Coincidently, that is the exact week that Bennett crashed, we had to pull him off of life support and then we buried him.  I don’t feel comfortable sharing Cullen’s birth date with Bennett’s death date, so we will shoot for 36 or 37 weeks. 

After thinking about Cullen’s due date as it related to the day Bennett died I was reminded of a post I wrote about the month of June.  Back in December I recapped each month of the year in our year end review.  I used the word “hate” in that post as it related to how I felt about the month of June. 

It is no secret that for months (years even) I prayed for another baby.  I remember standing next to Bennett’s grave and trying to explain to him that I wasn’t looking for a replacement, but I would love for him to choose the best little angel up There to add to our family.   Brandon and I tried to start the IVF process for months, but for one reason or another it kept getting delayed.  Conception in October would mean a June baby and that made me uncomfortable. Looking back at it now, I believe in my heart that it is Bennett’s way of telling us to celebrate that month rather than mourn it year after year.  Just another reminder to ME that there are no mistakes in life. 

Our sweet little Ellie Grace is still battling with the repercussions of RSV.  This virus truly did take a huge toll on her little body.  Not only has she been really sick for a week and a half, but now Biddy, Aunt Connie, Mommy and Daddy ALL have the same crud. 

Funny story that I want to document for Ellie’s sake:  For me, Brandon is like a superhero (most of the time!).  He works his hiney off for us, he takes care of all of our house issues, he cooks, cleans and makes sure Ellie gets out every weekend to have some fun time and he always makes sure I am doing okay.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered that Ellie had a super power that would affect our superhero!

That super power I am talking about is VOMIT!  (I am laughing just typing this!)

For the first time in her life, Ellie got so sick that she vomited.   The first time was Monday night and we were all in our bed.  I knew it was coming and she was sitting in my lap.  I started screaming to B to grab something to catch it and he just sat there staring at me.  Literally it was as if time was in slow motion…Ellie opened her mouth, I scrambled to find something to catch “it” so it didn’t end up on me or our bed and B just sat there frozen in time!  After the big scene we were laughing…well, it took me a while to laugh b/c I did have “it” all over me and I had to change immediately.  But, nonetheless, I was laughing with B because he said he thought he was going to be sick right along with her.  My Mr. Superhero…just a normal guy with a normal reaction to vomit!  Good thing I am the Superhero of handling “it” because “it” happened two more times on Tuesday morning!  Fun times here at our house!!!

Only 16 more weeks of bed rest to go!  I will leave you with this scripture that I love…

He hath made His wonderful works to be remembered: the LORD is gracious and full of compassion.

Psalm 111:4

Blessings,

Angie