Making Peace

Well, I decided to listen to my heart and call the nurse in our peri’s office to see what the protocol would be if we decided to make him our primary doctor for the rest of the pregnancy.  I felt like if I took this step I would feel like I had done everything that I could in my power to make a difference and I would be making peace with my heart. 

When I finally heard back from her I was surprised by the news.  In order to make my peri my primary OB and MFM doctor I would have to personally call my current OB and talk to her about my decision.  She would then have to agree to this change and call the peri herself and give permission to take over my care.  The nurse was super nice and explained that because such a large portion of their patient list if based on referral they have to maintain good relationships with the OB’s.  That makes total sense to me, but it also would put me in a terrible situation by having to confront a doctor that really hasn’t done anything “wrong” as far as care is concerned.  It’s not exactly bad medicine to have a different opinion than a patient. 

I had the opportunity to explain to his nurse exactly why I was so concerned and she agreed that there are a lot of doctors that do not believe in home uterine monitors and that they just happened to be one of those that does believe in it.  She really calmed my fears and made it clear that if there were a serious issue with my contractions ie. they were actual labor contractions that were going to change my cervix,  then the home health nurses would call her and she would be the one in charge of making any emergency decisions.  That also made me feel better.  So, basically what it boils down to is that I will be seeing the OB and the peri on the same day every two weeks.  He is in charge of making the call of how the pregnancy is going and he is the one that will make any changes to my meds.  The OB will simply weigh me, take my blood pressure, urine culture and fundal measurement.  Yes, it is a pain to have to have two doctors especially when one doesn’t really do much…but, that is what our reality is and I’m not going to expend ONE more second worrying about it.  I have made peace with our decision and I feel like we are being well taken care of.

Tuesday afternoon after the doctor I didn’t have ANY contractions which was a huge blessing, but then yesterday I had 3 on my strip.  Today during my morning strip I had two small bouts of irritability and no contractions.  Basically, there hasn’t been any rhythmic pattern to the contractions this week.  Today I had an awesome nurse that called about my strip and she was more than happy to reassure me about what is going on.  No, it is not “normal” to have regular contractions, but there is a difference between labor contractions (that change your cervix) and “non”labor contractions that you are just going to have b/c your uterus is a big muscle.  She said b/c my cervix checked out so nicely on Tuesday that I should be very reassured that these contractions are not doing any damage yet.  She also said the same thing the peri’s nurse said yesterday…if they were worried about me I WOULD know it and they would be making changes.  They are not concerned yet, so I need to just take it easy and TRY to relax. 

I woke up this morning and the first thing I did was declare the day up to God.  I told him that I was not going to let the anxiety into my mind and if it did start to creep in I was going to center myself and put it all back in His hands.  I have had a great day!  I know that talking to the nurse really helps and I feel so blessed to have a peri that supports home health care, but I also know that having my faith is an even bigger blessing.  I have six more weeks of “grey area” to get through before I will feel a huge sense of relief.  That’s not long when you consider how far we have come. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us and I continue to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your prayers and support.

Now, I have some very exciting news to share about our princess.  She started ballet, tap and jazz today with her friend Brooke!  My friend went to pick up their “uniforms” because the dance academy has very strict rules and dress codes.  She came over to drop it off and we tried it on Ellie and it looked absolutely adorable!  I will upload pictures of our social butterfly asap.  Poor Biddy is going to feel like a real “soccer mom” pretty soon.  Ellie has a packed schedule of two gymnastics classes, dance AND soccer every week!  I feel very blessed that we have friends that she takes these classes with and that she is getting some sort of normal in the middle of all of this chaos we have going on.  She is such an amazing gift to all of us!

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in You.

Psalm 33:22

Blessings,

Angie