Designated driver

When I was preparing for today’s procedure I was told that it was “pretty minor.” The last time I had the h-scope done I was put completely under because I had a number of other procedures and tests done. I asked if I could drive myself home and they said it shouldn’t be a problem. The doctor would only be using a local anesthetic, so they couldn’t imagine why I wouldn’t be able to drive. The next nurse that called asked who would be responsible for me after the test was done and I told her I would…she seemed a little surprised. This morning, when I arrived at the surgery center they asked where my designated driver was…I felt like a total loser when I told them under my breath that I was alone. The receptionist behind the desk announced in a somewhat loud manner, “Oh, so I guess you don’t need the beeper for anyone.” LOSER!!! What was I thinking? Who goes to have a surgical procedure with anesthetic and doesn’t bring someone with them?

I started to relax when they put me in pre-op. I was thanking my absent husband for pushing me to buy i-phones for Christmas as I sat waiting and surfing the web. For about 2 hours I surfed and listened to music…until they finally took me back. I didn’t get nervous until the doctor came in and I saw all of the needles and other instruments he was planning to use. WOW…I was totally unprepared for the pain and discomfort that would accompany this. You would think after being on bed rest in the hospital for three weeks and giving birth by c-section to twins that this little test wouldn’t be so traumatic…wrong! Four shots and one dilated cervix later I was staring at my uterus on a television screen. It was fascinating! Watching the doctor gently guide the telescope through the cervix and into the uterus was like something off of discovery health channel. There was some minor scar tissue at the base of the uterus ~ it looked like very fine spider webs. Dr. Mangal used the telescope to break it up and continued to guide the scope up even further. I silently prayed after we saw that scar tissue that the uterus would be clear of any scar tissue, polyps or adhesions. If there is scar tissue in the uterus it will effect implantation and would probably require further surgery. I was so relieved when he reached the uterus and it was clear! I mean it was a beautiful uterus if I do say so myself!!! A “womb with a view” as my sister-in-law called it!!! It is amazing to think that there was ever a twin pregnancy in there b/c it looked so clear. Both openings to the fallopian tubes were wide open as well…not that they do me any good month after month!

At any rate the news was good and I was still alive! I was sent right to the recovery area where I waited for the doctor. It was the news that came next that would shake me.

If you remember back to when Bennett was in the hospital we had to have him tested for Cystic Fibrosis. In Bennett’s short six months he did display some symptoms consistent with those suffering from the rare genetic disease. We waited for about a week to find out that he tested negative for CF, but that he was positive as a carrier. In order to test positive for CF both mother and father must be positive as carriers. When someone tests positive as a carrier it means that either one OR the other parent is a carrier. We were relieved and moved on after that. When we decided to try and become pregnant again we had to consider CF testing on ourselves to rule out the possibility that we are both carriers. I was tested more than 8 weeks ago and I am still waiting to hear the results. Yes, I did ask about those results AGAIN today and even though the doc was carting around my 4 inch thick medical chart he said he hadn’t gone over the blood tests from two months ago yet. Irritating? YES! Especially, since he said he would suggest that we visit a genetic counselor before our next IVF cycle. WHAT??? We already have 5 embryos that are at or beyond day 5 and from all the research I have done it is supposed to be too late to test them for genetic disorders now. I was irritated with him for a number of reasons at this point:
1. I had already pitched a pretty big fit in order to get this appt today. I threatened to find a new doctor and mysteriously on New Year’s Eve he called me from out of town (on his personal cell phone) and scheduled our procedure for today.
2. I have been waiting for over 2 months to hear the results from the blood work I had done and he still hadn’t looked over it.
3. I have 5 embryos left and now he is talking about testing them with a risky procedure that could kill all of them w/o even knowing if Brandon and I are both carriers of CF…
4. I was in excruciating pain and I didn’t bring any Advil with me b/c I thought it was “a pretty minor procedure.”
5. I was starving to death!
I know that Dr. Mangal is a good fertility doctor, but I have super high expectations after our experience with Bennett. I felt like he was jumping to serious conclusions before he did a simple thing like READ MY CHART FOR BLOOD RESULTS. I hate feeling like I have to Monday morning quarterback a doctor’s decisions. I want to feel confident that they know what they are doing and that I am a priority to them…I want a designated driver!

In the meantime we will wait. We will be doing our embryo transfer in February…not a moment too soon. If you do the math we should be due sometime near December…why not add another miraculous event to the already crowded month!!!

Please keep us in your prayers as we await the results from the CF test. It is only through prayer and our spiritual designated driver that we are able to travel this road safely!